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Like replacing the zip on the door.
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Kitchen needs water and gas hoses fitting.
Hopefully the sun will shine and we'll get the jobs done in time :-)
Saturday, 13 March 2010
Our new project.
Lots of jobs to do before it's ready for a trip to Scotland in June.
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Like replacing the zip on the door.
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New gas locker already made.
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Needs curtains!
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I'm not sure about that gas fire.
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Kitchen needs water and gas hoses fitting.
Hopefully the sun will shine and we'll get the jobs done in time :-)
Like replacing the zip on the door.
Kitchen needs water and gas hoses fitting.
Hopefully the sun will shine and we'll get the jobs done in time :-)
Friday, 29 January 2010
Vodafone - useless tossers
Has anyone ever managed to get anything to work on Vodafone's webshite? Four times I've tried to top up my phone with this result:
If I try via the phone it tells me my card has expired, which the web site confirms isn't till 02/2012. Obviously these muppets are working in a different timezone to the rest of the planet :-( Why do we put up with this crap service in this country? Yes, ok, don't tell me, it was a rhetorical question, they're all equally crap.
If I try via the phone it tells me my card has expired, which the web site confirms isn't till 02/2012. Obviously these muppets are working in a different timezone to the rest of the planet :-( Why do we put up with this crap service in this country? Yes, ok, don't tell me, it was a rhetorical question, they're all equally crap.
Monday, 11 January 2010
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Dead Pool 2010
Having done so badly in 2009 here's my list for 2010 of famous people likely to meet the tall thin bloke with the scythe :-)
1. Thatcher
2. Ronnie Biggs
3. Amy Winehouse
4. Norman Wisdom
5. Peter Sallis
6. George Herbert Walker Bush
7. Dame Vera Lynn
8. Robert Mugabe
9. Eli Wallach
10. Jimmy Carter
1. Thatcher
2. Ronnie Biggs
3. Amy Winehouse
4. Norman Wisdom
5. Peter Sallis
6. George Herbert Walker Bush
7. Dame Vera Lynn
8. Robert Mugabe
9. Eli Wallach
10. Jimmy Carter
Friday, 11 December 2009
Peter Kays Universal Truths'
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger's.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator. true. Either that or 58008 531573
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. Unless it's a Rottie.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their
arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on
an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in
a fruit salad
I wonder what happened to 9? :-)
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger's.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator. true. Either that or 58008 531573
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. Unless it's a Rottie.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their
arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on
an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in
a fruit salad
I wonder what happened to 9? :-)
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
Talking Dog
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He
rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador
retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So,
what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In
no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport
to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a
batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm
just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He
rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador
retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So,
what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In
no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport
to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a
batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm
just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
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